Understanding Anyway Love

Do we love others because of or anyway?

I have placed an article by Gary Thomas titled "Anyway Love" at the bottom of my note which prompted my thinking and confirmed my feelings.

I have found that loving "anyway" is not easy but it is achievable when we accept Gods love for us and realize that He loves us just the way we are and not because of any particular thing we do. I have realized in life to love someone "Anyway" is exactly how God loves me so how could I not love others the same.


I am so flawed and imperfect; how could I only love another if they were a certain way; or just because they did certain things for me. This even pertains to friendships and other relationships; with our own children and families. We have to stop expecting people to be something their not, or to do something we think they should do when they don't; or hoping they will change to our liking and "love each other anyway". Yes, the words are easier to say than the actions necessary. But with God it is possible and attainable. Obviously, this does not mean that we accept poor behaviors, unhealthy relationships or harmful situations. Those must be balanced with wisdom. It means that we love past human flaws and not willing and hurtful actions toward us.

Forgiveness is the key to door of loving anyway. We have to learn how to love each other ANYWAY...and not BECAUSE. But this is a process and it wont be easy. It requires understanding and accepting how God loves and forgives us. How HE accepts us right where we are and how we are. This truly is a sacrificial love. An unconditional love that keeps on loving regardless. When someone asks how or why you love ...our answer shouldn't be I love them because; our answer should be ; I love them anyway! Love each other "anyway" and not simply "because" they do or dont do; or because they wont. Place your expectations in Christ ; you will never be let down; never forsaken; never abandoned; never alone. He loves you "anyway".

Perhaps you have allowed a friendship or relationship to end "just because". Did the relationship with a family member, friend or spouse end based on "BECAUSE" of what they did or didnt do; or because your expectations werent met; Would it have flourished if you loved "ANYWAY"?

With my heart,

Jeannette

Heres the article by Gary Thomas...Enjoy!

Anyway Love by Gary Thomas
To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.
Note: Names have been changed.

On Valentine's Day, Meg* went all out, giving her husband, Peter,* his favorite candy and tickets to a hockey game. Later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.

Peter got her a card.

At the grocery store.

That he purchased on the way home from work.

He didn't add anything to it, either. He just signed it, "Peter."

A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because two months later, when they celebrated their anniversary, Peter didn't get Meg anything.

"How could you not get me anything for our anniversary?" she asked Peter the next day. "Especially after our conversation about Valentine's Day."

"Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn't work out," he replied. "And then I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn't like that last time."

"It's not that I didn't like the card. It's that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that is better than nothing ..."

Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time, Peter got her a present – a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter's tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured that Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn't have to borrow his.

Meg recounted all this and then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse. He would read the first few pages, lose interest and never pick the book up again.

"I've realized this is never going to change," she confessed. "But I love him anyway."

Because ...
That last statement of Meg's, "but I love him anyway," is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I've ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you're good to me. I love you because you're kind, because you're considerate, because you keep the romance alive.

But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!

But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.

... Or Anyway
Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.

That's love, the way God intended it.

This article first appeared in the Couples Edition of the January, 2007 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. Copyright © 2007, Gary Thomas. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.